Why your relationship is failing.

Maybe...LOL.  Lots of times it's due to one of these reasons.  Happy relationships are not complicated!  I'm not going to say theyre easy...but like most things that sound difficult, they're simple.  I'm by no means claiming to be an expert at happy relationships.  I've been married almost 8 years, happily, to the same man.  Thats not long compared to some of my readers.  But these are the things I have figured out and i'm putting them out there in hopes that they DO help someone.  If it makes sense to you..keep it!  If not, thanks for reading.  This is not a "12 steps to happiness" or anything that complex...i'll just get started..
1.) DON'T POUT!
   Pouting is for toddlers..there..I said it.  Puffing up and pouting over something not going your way isn't helping anyone.  It just makes you look silly and it SCREAMS "beg to me".  No one wants to beg...your significant other is not a dog.  And they are not your parent.  Instead, openly discuss what has you hurt.  In a non confrontational way.
2.) Put your spouse first!
   I know you love your children.  I love mine too.  But they will grow up, get married and leave you to pursue their own families.  And do you know who you'll be stuck with....thats right..your spouse.   This goes into a whole slew of things...don't sleep with your kids.  It's fine when theyre small..but don't put your husband out of HIS bed ladies.  Come on now.  Your bed should be your sanctuary..the place the two of you go to be close, intimate.  Keep it sacred.
  Don't neglect the others needs.  When you start putting the other person first eventually they catch on.  And what happens when both parties are putting the other persons needs before their own is selfless love and attention.  And it's a beautiful thing.  It doesnt happen over night.  it does take practice and has to be MADE as a habit.  It's natural for us to put our needs and our childrens needs first.  But when you finally get the hang of it...it's amazing.
3.) Don't go to bed angry!
  I know you've heard it!  It's in the Bible.  But there is some sense in the saying.  No one wants to sleep with their backs to each other...and both of you are hurting.  And God forbid something happen during the night that would prevent you from EVER speaking the words you know you need to.  Just say you're sorry...even when you feel you're not wrong. Apologize for making THEM feel bad.  Because you did.  Even if you didn't mean to....even if it wasn't your intention, apologize.
4.)TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS!
  I hate hearing people say "I try to make him/her happy"...geesh!  That is a HUGE burden!  To be responsible for someones happiness!  Thats huge!  Think about it.  It's not your job or responsibility to make your other happy.  Nor is it theres to make you happy.  If you're not happy with yourself, you can't expect someone else to MAKE you happy.  Sure, our significant others DO tend to make us smile but lets face it, if you're not happy with them and the person they are..then don't stay.  Don't marry them expecting them to transform and the relationship to transform.  For all your problems to go away.  Because theyre just that..YOUR problems.  When you can make you happy, nothing else matters.  AND no one is happy 100% of the time.  No one.  But you should be happy everyday...not ALL day everyday, but everyday you should feel happy.  If not, talk to your doctor or re-evaluate your life choices.
5.)Don't get even.
  Revenge is ugly.  And two wrongs don't make it right.  It's as easy as that.
6.) Be realistic.
  If he doesn't have goals or share your religious values...or the same morals...or doesnt want kids, and you do.  DON'T expect him to change.  You can't change someone to fit the version of them in your head.  And they shouldn't.  Thats not fair to them.
7.) Think of the other persons feelings, put yourself in their shoes.
  If what's coming out of your mouth would hurt YOUR feelings...and you're saying it to be hurtful then don't let it out.  Just don't.  If it's not helpful or uplifting.....keep it in.  And if you DO have to say something that hurts just to be able to work it out and move forward...say it in the most gentle way you can.
8.) MONEY!
  Don't hide it, lie about it or be unrealistic about it.  Money is a HUGE reason for the divorce rate being SO high.  Don't let paper ruin your marriage. 
9.)NO RULES!
  Do not set rules and boundaries for your other.  Things like "Don't talk to so and so" or "Don't go to kjwwdfwef"  OR any other stupid thing that shows you have no faith and trust in the other person.  If you can't trust them to make the right decisions when their away...then what are you doing with them?   If you can't stand to see them talk to a person of the opposite sex..even an EX..yeah..I said it...then thats YOUR problem.  If they have done nothing at all to warrant you acting psycho, then DON'T.  I know the green eyed monster tends to show up every now and then.  And it's natural for your radar to go off every now and then.  But if you dont give trust don't expect to get it.
10.) Get close to God and read your BIBLE!
  God gives the VERY best relationship advice.  Everything you could ever want to know about any situation is in there.  It really is.  And my married life went to a whole new level once Harlow and myself both fell in love with Jesus Christ.  The closer we get to him and the more we read his word..the closer we get to each other.
11.) Get away from each other!
  It's just not healthy to be with each other ALL the time.  It's annoying.  And don't expect your other to want to do all the same things as you.  It's not only OK to have different interest but a GREAT thing.  It's how you grow together and keep things interesting.  The more you grow and learn and pursue different things the more you'll always have to talk about.
12.) Try new things together.
  It may be fun...it may turn out awful.  Either way you're bound to get a good story out of it.
13.) LOVE!
  Sounds simple....but really love that person.  Recognize that this is your husband or wife.  God says women should be submissive to their husbands...and that husbands should love their wives as Jesus loves the church.  Do you know how Jesus LOVES the church..he DIED for the church.  Thats a whole lotta loving.  Love that imperfect person as perfectly as you can.  Recognize they have flaws just like you do.  And recognize that out of all the people in the world, you are their favorite!  They picked you!
14.) In Laws!!!!!
  Realize that while you love your parents and siblings....you now have your very own family.  And they come first.  I've seen this be a tough pill to swallow.  After you say "I do" you are now leaving your old household to start your own.  And thats just that.  Don't say stuff like "This doesn't taste like Moms"...unless you want to be eating AT your moms and maybe spending the night on her couch.  Don't call your parents to ask their advice on decisions that you should be making with your spouse.  I'll keep it simple....just keep your parents out of your marriage.  Harsh...but it works. :)
15.) Expect bad times.
  There will be rough times.  There will be times when it looks like it would be easier to just quite.  Times when you don't like each other.  Times when you can't even stand to hear them chew.  And thats when it can get tough.  Thats when you remind yourself why you said "I do".  You remind yourself that this person picked you...and they love you.  And if worse comes to worse....sit down, alone..and picture you.  Picture you divorced....picture actually doing it. Filing the papers, moving out...where will you go...will you miss them?  How will you manage visitation with your children?  Who will get what?  Imagine them with someone else....your kids with a step parent.  And if your heart can still take it...and you still want out.  If you're past talking it out.  Then i'm so sorry.  But never let it get that far.  I'm not completely against divorce by any means.  But apart from infidelity and abuse...it CAN be saved.  IF that scenario of divorce plays out in your head and still breaks your heart...if it doesnt send you crying and begging to talk it out....then go.
   I hope i've helped someone in some way.  This has been laying on my heart for about a week now.  And I really feel like I was meant to get it out there for someone.